Hostage Situation
by Editor-Bug
Summary: In the hopes of scoring with a hostage, Beavis and Butt-head venture to Maxi Mart while some people are being held up at gun point. One-shot! Read & review if you like!
"I'm back!" Beavis announced, returning home from his nacho run.

"It's about time," said Butt-head. "Hurry up and bring those nachos over; the boring news is about to start."

Beavis set the nachos down. "Hey, hey, Butt-head? Guess what, like, happened! Heheheh!"

"Uhhh, you whizzed in your pants? Uh huh huh."

"No!" snapped Beavis, reddening. "A chick smiled at me while I was at the store!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah! But, uh, the stupid store clerk told me to get out before I could, like, score or anything. Heh-heh. It was cool."

"Yeah, right, Beavis."

"It really did happen, Butt-head!"

"Whatever." Butt-head leaned back as the news began.

"I'm here LIVE at the local Maxi Mart where a gunman has just entered the store and is holding the store owner, as well as a few customers hostage," announced the reporter. "He's stated, and I quote, 'I'm not leaving until I get all the money in the world'. At this point, we can neither deny nor confirm that this man is under the influence of drugs."

"Huh huh. Cool," said Butt-head.

"Police attempts at reasoning with this man have failed, and they can't move in any closer, as he's threatened to shoot all the hostages."

The camera zoomed in on the Maxi Mart windows so that the viewers could see the hostages.

"Hey, look, look! Butt-head!" Beavis said excitedly. "There's the chick! The one I was talking about!"

"Whoa," Butt-head marveled at the attractive young woman. "Dude, why didn't you tell me a hot chick smiled at you?"

"Hm-heh. I did."

"Well, she's still there, and she was, like...into you or something." Butt-head stood from the couch. "Let's go score with her."

Beavis stood too. "Yeah! Hehehe! We're there!"

They made their way out the door.

"We sure are lucky that guy showed up, huh, Butt-head?"

"Yeah. That guy's cool."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Several police cars surrounded the Maxi Mart, along with some police tape around the area. One cop had a megaphone and was spouting negotiations, which were being ignored by the gunman in the store.

Beavis and Butt-head managed to go unnoticed in all the commotion. They crawled under the police tape and took the back entrance into the store. The instant they got to the front, the gunman set his sights on them.

"I don't care what the hell those cops have to say unless they have my money!" he shouted, pointing the gun at them.

"Whoa," uttered Butt-head. "Settle down, dude. We're not even cops. Uh huh huh."

"THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?!"

"We're here to score!" said Beavis, confusing the man.

"Yeah, just be cool and don't shoot us while we're doing it," added Butt-head. "Uhh. Like, you're a cool guy. Right?"

"Of course he's cool! Dude's got a gun!"

"Heh..." The man cracked a smile and eyed his gun reflectively. "This gun...it's the first, last, and only thing my father gave me..."

As he continued his sob story, Beavis and Butt-head peered behind him and grinned at the terrified girl squatted down on the floor.

Th Maxi Mart owner took advantage of the man's distraction and opened the drawer behind the counter. He pulled out his emergency gun and aimed...

"And that was first of many mornings I woke up with- -AAAGH!" The gunman took a bullet right in the back. With another fire, he was dead.

The hostages all released their breath.

"I thought he'd never stop talking," said Butt-head.

"Yeah. Heh-heh. Hallelujah! Hm-hm-heh!"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"And so, it's thanks to the bravery of these two boys that the hostages were safely rescued!" The reporter held the microphone out to them. "Boys, what do you have to say?"

"Uhhh," Butt-head thought for a second. "Yeah. That was cool, I guess, but we just came here to score with that hot chick. Uh huh huh."

"Yeah!" added Beavis. "Like, where'd she go? Heh-heh."

After the camera crew left, the two spotted the girl. She was walking arm in arm with the Maxi Mart owner.

"Oh, that was so brave of you to kill that guy!" she gushed. "Please, let me _thank you..._ "

The store owner leaned in. "Oh, hell yeah..."

They sucked face all the way into the chick's car, which didn't take long to start rocking.

"...this sucks!" declared Beavis. "That chick smiled at ME!"

Butt-head slapped him. "No, she didn't, butt plug. She must've, like, had her eyes on that guy the whole time. She was looking past you all along."

"Ohh..."

"Dumbass. That means we came here for nothing. Our nachos must be cold by now."

* * *

(A/N: As usual, I'm just here to comment on how dumb this was, as well as remind you to please review, fave, follow, and check out my profile. Au re- -...eh, that's too refined for this story. Bye!)


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